Sir Terry Pratchett succumb to what he called ‘the embuggerence’ in March of 2015. When first diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer’s disease years earlier he didn’t shy away from the topic, nor did he slow down to ‘take it easy’. He kept writing like a furious madman until his final days and was said to have even more story ideas percolating inside his head in his last hours. Sir Terry was a master wordsmith of an often maligned genre (comedic fantasy fiction) but I would challenge any writer to create entire worlds as rich in detail, history, satire, and humour as he did. His last days were on his bed with his cats by his side looking back at a huge volume of work and no doubt still dreaming up future adventures for the characters of Discworld. I hope that Death himself appreciates the stories that only he now gets to hear.
His writing legacy was left to his daughter who has very wisely decided to keep sacred his considerable catalogue which includes over forty Discworld books and numerous other works. She has said she will not write new stories but rather will focus on adaptations and other productions of his overflowing bookcase of existing work. Well done for her I say. We’ve seen author’s work bastardized and rehashed, or worse still continued by another author all too often of late. A finite amount, especially if it’s heaps upon heaps of chapters as is the case with Sir Terry, is a good thing to my mind.
His last book, The Shepherd’s Crown
In the world he created there are several ‘groups’ of characters upon which each book is centred. The Witches, The Night Watch, Death (a rather likeable character), and Moist Von Lipwig to name a few. This last book uses the familiar child witch Tiffany Aching as its lead and while each book in the Discworld continuum can stand on it’s own two covers, I think having the thread of each group from their unique introductions into the series helps both understanding and enjoyment. There are several suggested ‘reading guides’ for Sir Terry’s world and a distinct maturation of writing themes over the years. Not to say the very first book, The Colour of Magic
One of the characters he most enjoyed writing and whose ‘layers had become laminated into me’ was the head of the Night Watch, Sam Vimes. I won’t elaborate on “Sir Samuel” to preserve the delight that is watching him change over the series for any new readers but it’s sufficient to say that his roots are a gruff streetwise copper who likes his food simple and made of the most base ingredients. Preferably in large enough quantity that even Sargent Colon would leave some remaining on the table. The main food groups to Sam’s innate demographic are fat, sugar, starch, and BCBs (Burnt Crunchy Bits). Here are a few culinary jewels from Vimes over the years.
“Vimes carefully lifted the top of the bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich and smiled inwardly. Good old Cheery. She knew what a Vimes BLT was all about. It was about having to lift up quite a lot of crispy bacon before you found the miserable skulking vegetables. You might never notice them at all.”
“I’d like a couple of eggs,” said Vimes, “with the yolks real hard but the whites so runny that they drip like treacle. And I want bacon, that special bacon all covered with bony nodules and dangling bits of fat. And a slice of fried bread. The kind that makes your arteries go clang just by looking at it.”
“Tough order,” said Harga.
“You managed it yesterday.” replied Vimes.
In honour of easily my favourite author, Sir Terry Pratchett, I offer the “Sam Vimes”. A sandwich fit for a right and proper watchman after a long night on the foggy cobblestones of Ankh-Morpork. Heaps of thick bacon, the smallest tomatoes you can find, no lettuce in sight, and an egg just for good measure. Thank you Sir Terry, for all the words arranged in just the right fashion over the years as only you could.
A ciabatta loaf, halved – because more air pockets in the bread raises the bacon ratio
Enough thick slices of salty bacon to make a layer on each half of bread, pan fried crisp and screaming, dangling bits of fat and bony nodules not withstanding
An egg fried solid on one side and then flipped until the yolk begs for mercy
One skulking leaf of romaine lettuce, left under your desk out of sight and well away from the sandwich
As few cherry tomatoes as you can get away with before Sybil finds out, halved so they look like more
A pasting of homemade mayonnaise to disguise said tomatoes
Fresh cracked peppercorn, because even Vimes needs a kick now and again
Using the same pan in succession*, crisp the bacon well and fry the egg. Drippings intact and again in the same pan, fry the bread cut side down to warm throughout while soaking up anything left behind by the bacon. Have a dwarf assemble the sandwich as he (or she) sees fit. Serve with a cup of coffee as ‘dark as a moonless night’ to accompany.
* All Jolson recommends high heat to maximize BCBs (burnt crunchy bits).
