I’m not a fan of most modern over-the-counter medication. It seems these days many reach for a factory-made pill or potion at the drop of a slightly uncomfortable hat. I’m not talking about serious conditions here but rather the little signals that your body gives you for run-of-the-mill ailments, aches, and pains that crop up, especially as the seasons change. Your body is attempting to tell you something most times and there’s a biological reason for a runny nose or sore throat. In a fit of internet-based self diagnosis (and often over-reaction), there’s a whole industry convincing people to answer with chemical voodoo in a convenient capsule. I’m no hippie naturalist but to get in the way of natural defences seems to be second-guessing mother nature in my mind, especially if she has left us a few handy curative chemicals of her own in our kitchens.
This weekend out in the tree pruning winds it seems I caught my annual sore throat, achy joints, cold/flu sort of thing. It usually lasts a week at most but this time I’ve got a particularly nasty hacking cough in the bargain. Enough retching that my back hurts – anyone that’s ever been in the same boat knows what I mean on this score. You’d be hard pressed to find even aspirin in my cupboard but this is one of those symptoms that is screwing up my system royally so I went looking for some relief in my pantry.
I have a Scottish friend from long ago who has weathered many a cold, wet winter. She was always a champion of “just whisky it out of your system”, a method I often employ, but this time around I wanted something a bit more symptom specific that didn’t make me pass out completely. What I needed was soothing heat and something to unclog the works as it were. In the end I’ve invented my own version of “Gollum Juice” it seems.
Andy Serkis, the actor that portrayed, and more importantly voiced the Gollum character in the Lord of the Rings movies comments in the DVD extra features on a concoction they made on set that allowed his vocal chords to continue to function during the gruelling creature accent that’s one part madman, one part angry sailor, and one part gravel. His team would stir up a strong warm tea made of ginger, lemon, and honey which he’d guzzle by the bucketfuls.
There’s some real science to this mix with honey * being a natural antibiotic and ginger being a ready made anti-inflammatory. Lemon (or citrus acid in general) helps break up mucous but is also antiseptic in its own right. For my mix, I add a goodly portion of cayenne powder because it’s a strong decongestant that helps clear the lungs of what’s making me cough in the first place. A few fresh mint leaves picked from my windowsill pots make the steam nearly as therapeutic as the tea itself.
* A search for “dextromethorphan versus honey” will yield ample reading on the topic. Some studies have shown zero additional benefit from drug company snake oil whereas a few thousand years of practical application give honey the seal of approval.
In fact, all the ingredients in my list share some common antiseptic, pain-numbing, and anti-inflammatory properties to some degree. My ratios are intense since this is about calming my throat rather than taste but after the first jolt, it can be a fairly pleasant cup when everything else in the kitchen makes you want to gag. I make ‘half-cups’ so that I can keep it piping hot and steamy which also helps matters if I keep my nose parked on the rim between gulps. Many recipes call for the inclusion of cider vinegar to these sorts of remedies and while the science is there, I found it didn’t help much beyond the cayenne and made the whole lot taste more foul than necessary. Experiment as you wish with this information.
Lemons with their potent fresh juice and zest certainly work a treat. If you have them laying about by all means use them for great taste. For convenience when you’re otherwise miserable and avoiding a trip to the market however, I suggest you find yourself a packet of pure crystallized citric acid – basically lemon juice flavour and acidity in powdered form (not to be confused with ascorbic acid aka Vitamin C). Curiously not produced commercially from citrus but rather grown from a type of mold – go figure. It’s easier to keep handy in a sealed glass jar and costs pennies compared to fresh lemons as good as they may be. This is about the acidity helping your throat not fine cooking after all. Look for it at your local brew shops, canning suppliers, or online where you can get a kilo of the stuff for just a few bucks. That’s a lot of Gollum juice since less than half a teaspoon is plenty per short cup.
Here’s my mix. It will seem dense but that’s what works.
Hot Gollum Juice for Sore Throats
1/2 teaspoon citric acid
6 – 8 tablespoons honey (Yes, at least six. I’m sick and it really helps. Don’t cheat with sugar.)
4 – 6 thin slices of fresh ginger
1/4 teaspoon pure cayenne powder (double or triple if you’re really clogged up and can stand it)
3 – 4 freshly picked mint leaves, crushed briefly with your fingertips
Add all to a heavy, pre-warmed mug and stir in 300ml boiling water right as the kettle goes ‘ding’. Inhale the vapours for a minute or two as the ginger steeps and then take the biggest sips you can manage at a go.
Chew on the ginger at the end of the cup before making another and crawling back under the blankets on the couch. Wear warm clothes and extra socks. Make a vat of vegetable soup. Worry about the outside world later. You’re no good to anyone in this condition.
